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"Are you going to spend more time talking to the kids?" my exasperated wife asked me gently.
This exchange took place one afternoon three years ago, when our twins were about eight months old.
"Of course I will. Just when they get a bit older so we can communicate better," I responded defensively.
Well, that was a really lame excuse.
Of course, she noticed.
The fact that our babies were not able to "talk", somehow made it more difficult for me to communicate with them.
I'm not talking about hugging, cuddling, tickling and playing around - that came naturally, of course. Baby talk was OK, as well.
I'm not talking about hugging, cuddling, tickling and playing around - that came naturally, of course. Baby talk was OK, as well.
Still, there was one thing I was not able to do.
I found it incredibly hard to talk to my baby girl and baby boy.
At the same time, my wife did it so effortlessly.
My babies' naturally limited (non-existent) ability to respond verbally to my words was somehow an excuse for me to limit my own communication.
I simply found no easy way of talking to my kids, so I usually played around silently.
My big mistake around my twins was that I did not explain what I was doing. I did not narrate my moves.
As we all know, the fact that babies cannot talk does not mean that they cannot listen - and listening is the foundation of all communication. You cannot learn to speak a language if you do not hear it first.
Yep, I was a poor dad in this respect in the first year or two.
Take note, this was not a decision.
Unfortunately, it somehow felt natural not to talk to someone, who does not know how to talk back.
Many fathers may find themselves in the same position.
So let me be clear, I did it all wrong.
I don't know the reason. Maybe sometimes dads see how our wives are great masters of communication with our still speechless babies and ... well... we feel we cannot even come close.
Maybe that's just another lame excuse.
What it certainly means is that if you remain silent - your baby loses out, we also put even more strain on our wives and, finally, a passive dad ultimately retreats instead of engaging the baby.
I was a bad dad.
Enter children's books.
Believe it or not, in the first 18 months after my kids were born - I still had no inkling of the read aloud revolution that would happen in our house one day.
Truly.
What I needed was structure for much more intensive communication with my baby twins and I did not know that reading children's books aloud would provide this structure for me.
The problem was that I needed quality content. Real quality, as this was a long-term commitment.
If I was going to read to my twins every day, I'd better be using that time to read great books. Fantastic books.
Why settle for less when incredible children's books are available all around us?
The scene was set for a transformation.
Overnight I became a "Read Aloud Dad". I still remember the night.
It was a night when my wife was so tired out, that she fell asleep after reading aloud to the kids for just 1-2 minutes.
Our son was standing in his cot, looking over the edge and shouting at his mom: "Read! Read! Please Read!" "Read!, Read! Read!"
She was so knackered out, that she shouted back at our son. She wanted a deserved rest, he wanted a story.
Then I made a mistake. Instead of getting angry at myself, I got angry at her for shouting at the kids.
She didn't need to say it. I was the real culprit in the story. I wasn't involved with the children's reading.
There was only one smart thing I said that night. "From now on I will read to them every day."
So... Read Aloud Dad was born.
Children's books almost magically opened up the the channels of communication. They broke down all the walls.
Today, the situation is the complete opposite.
Read Aloud Dad loves my kids so much, which means that he loves to talk to them all the time.
Read Aloud Dad reads as much as he can and tries to find the best children's literature to engage my twins.
Read Aloud Dad has built a home library with books for all children's ages and this library of great books is continuously expanding.
Read Aloud Dad decided to celebrate this great relationship with my twins by launching this blog.
Read Aloud Dad expresses his love for my kids with books for an hour or two every day - together.
Read Aloud Dad - thanks for coming into our family!
You made me a better father and a better man.
The best of all is that Read Aloud Dad also wants to join your family too.
You don't hear him knocking. but trust me you just have to open the door.
Fellow dads, it's incredibly easy. Let me tell you the secret:
1. Take a picture book.
2. Call your kid to sit in your lap. Hug your listener.
3. Smile and look your kid in the eye.
4. Start to read.
Oh, yes.
Don't forget to celebrate tonight.
Don't forget to celebrate tonight.
Read Aloud Dad has just arrived in your house.
* Advice for improving your read-aloud sessions
* Tips on how to become a read-aloud ninja and more
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